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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Member Emma Krantz19/Female/United States Groups :iconofficialskrillexfans: OfficialSkrillexFans
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so I've been contemplating my life for the past few days and I've realized that i really don't have much of a purpose to keep moving on. i mean, everybody who i thought needed me, i see can easily find someone to replace me. i mean; my dad has my brother and sisters, my mom has her little online family, joey has Steve and Bridget, my friends have each other as well as better people to call friends, and takoda could easily just find somebody better.

plus, what really is there left to do in life? i mean, i fell in love, i've had my heart broken, i've had a child which built a family, i've smoked, i've drank, and anything else that i have left to do in life is either way out of my reach, untouchable, or unwanted.

i feel like i need to find myself a purpose in life... because i don't think i've ever really had one... i need to get away for a while... i need to turn off my electronics and i need to go on a trip.... too bad i don''t have the means of doing that...
  • Mood: Miserable
the knife isnt sharp enough...
  • Mood: Miserable
fuck everything. just fuck it all. i cant fucking take it anymore.
its not like i can tell everyone how i fucking feel. because they'll all just fucking tell me to get over it. that im being over dramatic. that my feelings are stupid. that i'm just fucking CRAZY.
well you know what? FUCK YOU!
maybe i dont like being told to leave, maybe it hurts my fucking feelings
maybe being screamed at because i wanna go to the hospital bothers me.
maybe i'm not as fucking stupid as everybody treats me.
maybe i have severe mental issues that i just cant handle on my own. maybe being home with my selfish cunt of a mother makes me feel even worse.
maybe being alone only worsens my pain. maybe if you actually stopped to give a fucking shit i wouldn't be freaking out this way.
maybe giving joey up for adoption was the most painful decision i ever had to make. maybe it hurts me just to see children his age.
maybe maybe maybe i dont know what the fuck im doing anymore. maybe im ready to just fucking quit on life and let myself just die
maybe i wanna overdose on my mothers pain medication and fall asleep and never wake up
maybe i cant handle being judged and ridiculed because i didnt graduate.
maybe death is the best fucking thing for me right now
maybe i feel like ripping my hair out when everybody harps on me to do everything before i can even figure out who the fuck i am
maybe i cant handle this bullshit anymore
maybe everytime i look at a photo of joey or bryan or my dad or my brother and sister or my cousins or my used-to-be friends i want to just break down and cry.
maybe i'm not as fucking crazy as everybody treats me. maybe im just a girl who needs loved ones around her at all times or shes gonna fucking snap
maybe ive already fucking snapped.
maybe every time i think ive found something great it turns around and bites me in the fucking ass
maybe i cant handle the pressure of everybody telling me to grow the fuck up
maybe im not ready to grow the fuck up
maybe i never had much of a childhood and for everybody to look at me and tell me to grow up now that i finally have some fucking freedom drives me up the fucking wall
maybe art, writing, video games, and cleaning arent enough for me anymore
maybe i need some actual fucking people around me because i cant handle this bullshit anymore.
maybe the only fucking thing i can do to keep myself from killing myself is feeling loved
and maybe when my fucking family looks at me and hates me or my friends are too busy or people i used to be close with wont even socialize with me anymore.
maybe i cant fucking take this BULLSHIT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!

everythings just fucking hitting me all at once and i cant do it anymore. i just cant. im tired of trying. im really fucking tired of it. im not gonna get anywhere in life and all i do is irritate the people who are in my life...

i dont know... maybe i just need to be alone....
  • Mood: Miserable

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Emma Krantz
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
Emma Krantz is a Gothic artist who enjoys bloody/gory things. Emma is Also a Huge browser gamer. She enjoys spending time with the people who she loves the most. Her most favorite past-time is dressing as dark as she possibly can and going to walmart to scare the shit out of people. Emma also writes a lot of thrillers, but also she sometmes enjoys writing fanfics. Her religious beliefs consist of Satanism, Wicca, and a bit of Jashinism. Emma hates writing in 3rd person and writing this alone is killing her............ Emma Despises people... but loves comments... :D Emma is NOT a happy person but can be around the right people...

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so I've been contemplating my life for the past few days and I've realized that i really don't have much of a purpose to keep moving on. i mean, everybody who i thought needed me, i see can easily find someone to replace me. i mean; my dad has my brother and sisters, my mom has her little online family, joey has Steve and Bridget, my friends have each other as well as better people to call friends, and takoda could easily just find somebody better.

plus, what really is there left to do in life? i mean, i fell in love, i've had my heart broken, i've had a child which built a family, i've smoked, i've drank, and anything else that i have left to do in life is either way out of my reach, untouchable, or unwanted.

i feel like i need to find myself a purpose in life... because i don't think i've ever really had one... i need to get away for a while... i need to turn off my electronics and i need to go on a trip.... too bad i don''t have the means of doing that...
  • Mood: Miserable

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:icondamonnara:
DamonNara Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Happy Birthday ^^
Reply
:iconakutskil0ver:
akutskil0ver Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank youu
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:icondamonnara:
DamonNara Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
You are most welcome ^^
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:iconfireshockerbill:
FireshockerBill Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :party:
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:iconakutskil0ver:
akutskil0ver Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks!
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:iconfireshockerbill:
FireshockerBill Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
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:iconcrap-zapper:
Crap-zapper Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Student General Artist
Happy Birthday! :D Hope you have a Nice day! :hug:
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:iconakutskil0ver:
akutskil0ver Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks!
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:iconfran48:
Fran48 Featured By Owner Edited Sep 7, 2014  Student General Artist
thanks for the llama :3 and for faving too <3
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:iconjenova87:
Jenova87 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks so much for watch :D !
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